First off, Wade Barker’s real name is Ric Meyers.
The Ninja Master series went through many reiterations.
Ninja Master 1981-1983 (Books 1-8)
Year of the Ninja Master 1985-1986 (Books 1-4)
War of the Ninja Master 1988 (Books 1-4)
Dragon Rising is the first in the Year of the Ninja Master series but oddly there is no mention anywhere in or on the book that lets you know; hey this is a Ninja Master series book. It even looks completely different. The first series were total men’s adventure style painted ass kicking artwork. The four in this series are sparse with a white background, a clipart ninja, the Japanese red circle and Kanji writing that I hope says Dragon Rising. I found a website called Japandict where you can search Kanji characters by drawing them or translate words into Kanji, but nothing is showing up for the characters in the circle. I have to say, even though the cover is technically boring, it does draw my attention. It’s one of those things where if someone described it to you, you’d be like, meh but then you see it and are all, that’s intriguing in its nothingness.
The book starts with white guy ninja, Brett Wallace doing two finger pushups over a home-made bed of knives. Perfect introduction. His ninja protégé, Jeff Archer watches on and worries that his master has lost his mind. There are two others in their little American Ninja group, a Japanese lady who used to date Brett Wallace and a stocky older Japanese Ninja guy. There have been orders from the League of Ninjas (not what it’s actually called but I don’t remember the real name) that Brett Wallace is cracking up and needs to be exterminated before he gets put into a position where he divulges Ninja secrets. Sort of like the mafia.
There is a bunch of Ninja-lore background. Apparently, Ninjas were criminals and assassins lacking the honor of the Samurai. It was all very interesting if it was true.
Brett Wallace goes undercover at a gas station so he can assassinate a mafia guy. It’s hilarious. He sharpens a credit card and uses it as a throwing star. After the assassination he runs through the sewers and streets to escape. He happens upon a pedophile about to do his pedo-thing on a little girl. You know, just something you run into every day. He slays the guy, obviously. It’s really random and just stuck in there for fun I guess.
This is the first Ninja Master book I’ve ever read so my impression at this point is, holy fuck this is bonkers amazing. It’s like the limitlessness of a sci-fi book where anything can happen with no explanation but instead of wacky creatures on a strange planet you have a ninja happening upon a pedophilic act while running from a mafia assassination.
Unfortunately, here it turns into close quarter battles with off-the-hinges Ninja Master, Brett Wallace and his crew of Ninjas. The two Japanese ninjas are ordered to take him out. Protégé ninja, Jeff Archer refuses to do so but is forced into hand-to-hand combat with his sensei. The four continuously fight in long detailed battle scenes. It was cool at first but got really monotonous quick. Jeff Archer gets a needle in him that has a poison that puts him in a coma for months.
He wakes up and the doctors tell him he has a terminal disease called, Hunter’s Chorea. He will have seizers and poo himself constantly. And boy howdy does he. It’s pants poopin mania. While in the hospital the two Japanese ninjas from his former crew show up to exterminate him. He poops himself and escapes.
The second act is a completely different book. Jeff Archer is headed to South America to hunt down Brett Wallace. He runs into gangsters, local criminals, poops himself on a bus, joins up with college drug runner sailors, fights some ninjas, more pooping and lands in El Salvadore where he is captured by guerillas.
The last act is a war jungle trek through the mountains of El Salvadore with some US mercenaries and big surprise the Ninja Master himself, Brett Wallace. We lose a lot of the Ninja in this part and trade it in for some big gun artillery and jungle warfare. But don’t worry because it ends with an over-the-top villainous crew and some supernatural shit from Cornville. The story is all tied up like last year’s Christmas lights hastily thrown into a box. It’s a wonderful ridiculous mess.
I loved this book so God Damn much. It was dumb. It was filled with cheap violence. Tons and tons of descriptive fight scenes. Pants pooping. Random unnecessary viciousness. Meandering half assed plots. It’s a work of B-book gold and can stand tall with the oodles of schlocky 70s and 80s ninja movies. More Ninja Master, please.
Warner Books 1985
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