Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Hawk #9 Down Under and Dirty by Dan Streib

Michael Hawk is a reporter with a cool manly name, though I’ve read a couple of these and I don’t remember him doing any reporting. He is also a bazillionaire. In every book they give you the quick backstory that he almost saved a rich South American cartel’s daughter’s life and to punish him she curses him with her fortune or some such ridiculousness. So now Hawk travels the world, being rich, avoiding the IRS, banging ladies and killing bad guys. Because, you know, he’s a reporter so he’s essentially an assassin. Duh. This go around he is mucking about Sydney, Australia when he happens upon a scene wherein someone has thrown a fat guy out of a twenty-story window. Along with a crowd of onlookers Hawk watches four men escape from the smashed window by ropes. He knows a professional hit when he sees one. A British butler looking guy piques his interest, so he follows him to a playhouse. Inside Hawk spots the butler guy give a nod to Mafia man, Tony Santini. What’s the US mafia doing in Australia? Hawk wonders for five seconds before deciding the Mafia is moving into Australia. NOT ON HIS WATCH, THEY’RE NOT! It’s now his mission to stop the US mafia from infesting Australia and try to bang the Australian actress from the playhouse who happens to be close to the Santini guy. Is she a victim also or is Hawk getting played??

Man, I love the Hawk series. It’s the epitome of good bad. So much of it doesn’t make sense. Hawk’s rationalizations of the matters at hand are bonkers. Like how he gets from one point to another is so convoluted it’s comical. He is pretty much a dick but a dick who doesn’t realize it and thinks he’s a good guy. He wants to save the Australians from the mafia, so he rallies the workers and drunks in the area bars by giving out free alcohol to intimidate the mob with packed bars so they can’t come in and take over the slot machines. See what I mean? Shit’s nuts.

Hawk is a true patriot who considers the unions commies, doesn’t understand Australia’s anti-gun liberal nonsense and hypocritically avoids the IRS like the plague so he won’t have to pay his US taxes. Ha! Man, I love this shit so much. I thoroughly have enjoyed every Hawk book I’ve ever read. It’s like super sweet candy, it’s bad for you and rots the shit out of your teeth but man does it taste wonderful. Hawk is always getting balls deep in the ladies, has a huge dick and is the greatest lover in the world. He can hand to hand combat with total bad dudes and always come up on top. He has great ideas, like giving the area drunks free liquor to use as pawns in his scheme to stop the mob from taking over piddly ass slot machines which in turn get’s a bunch of them killed. He does feel bad for a few minutes though so that’s cool. Every one I’ve read, including this one, has super quick plotting with lots of action and explosions and hot ladies. Every book has wonderful cover art and even better, everything you see on that cover is going to be in the book. If you love over the top one-man-army type men’s adventure and have a great sense of humor, Hawk is the series for you.

Jove 1981

Review by Nick Anderson

1 comment:

  1. I think the HAWK series is fun to read, too. And the cover art was done by the great Samson Pollen, who I knew. Before Sam passed away several years ago, I co-edited two books featuring his men's adventure artwork with him and Wyatt Doyle: POLLEN'S ACTION and POLLEN'S WOMEN.

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