The Bunnies by John Q

The author’s name is John Quirk. Although the cover says John Q, the copyright states his full name in the book. But isn’t Q much more mysterious and not at all Bond-like? There were three of the Peter Trees super spy adventure series. This is the first. Let’s go.

Peter Trees is a rich super spy manly man working as a personal pilot for a shadowy mega rich guy, difficultly named Archangeli. Get it? Arch angel. Come to think of it, Peter Trees is an awkward name also. I kept saying it like the French, Tres because who is named Trees? Tres actually makes more sense as it roughly translates to “very.” Peter Tres is so very awesome at everything he does, he now dictates what moves Archangeli makes, business and personal.

They fly around in Trees super plane that not even the US government has. It was a gift from the leader of a Southeast Asian country because Trees helped in the revolutionary war against communism. The beginning is filled with an abundance of patriotism and of course oodles of communism slamming. Which for this kind of book is part of what gives it it’s charm but it overdid it a tad. It was annoying at first but then like a pot boiling over John Q has Archangeli make a disparaging remark about patriotism and the author turns the heat down to a mild patriotic boil.

The first chapter is also heavy on flying jargon. There is a hilarious picture of the author on the back posing in his flysuit get-up that was the inspiration for the drawing on the cover. The technical details were probably enjoyable to the few people who have flown jets but to the rest of us it sounds like someone reading stereo instructions. (Shoutout to Beetlejuice.)

Anyway, the plot. They are flying into Detroit to meet a man named Bottle about a fuel injection invention. Things get hairy. Trees saves the day. We meet Archangeli’s assistant, Jo Court. She’s a pushy broad working her way up and Trees has no time for her shit. She has no time for Trees narcissistic chauvinist attitude. There is also an Italian mafia-esque driver who does random illegal jobs and provides backup.

Bottle is missing. Trees and Court argue. Archangeli broods. More characters are introduced; horse teethed man who runs the company Arachangeli bought, sleezy private detective, black auto mechanic who talks in broken English, horny milf widow, some playboy bunnies hence the title, “The Bunnies.” That reminds me, this book is very of-its-era. Among other unsavory terminology the black female bunnies in this book are called, “Chocolate Bunnies.” There was a little redeeming at the end that I was surprised by but all in all, a little cringy.

Bottle is found dead from a car crash. Trees says, this was no accident, and is on the case. Bottle has left many riddle clues as to where to find his invention. Like legit pieces of paper with riddles on them. Personally, I hate riddles. This book was way more mystery than spy novel. It goes along like the hardboiled P.I. books of the 50’s. There’s a conspiracy. Who’s working for who. Who’s real, etc.

It was ok. I hated Trees. He’s a straight up asshole. Maybe that was the intended audience though, other assholes. The back and forth between Court the assistant and Trees got old quick. There was the usual flavor of every woman in the book throwing themselves at our hero. The action parts were good and they were peppered in there with the mystery like every other similar storyline. It was just really bland. It wasn’t “very” at all. Maybe Trees should have been named Peter Fade (French for bland). Actually, that’s a way cooler name.

Avon 1965

Review by Nick Anderson