1975. Are you guys going to the Sucking Pit tonight? Supposed to be some killer bands playing. This book is short and uhhh…sweet? Craggy swamp hermit lives in a cabin in the woods. Wait! Shit. I forgot. The book actually starts with a fox named Reynaldo or something watching some hound dogs sink into the Sucking Pit. NOW back to our hermit. He’s salty and loves the Sucking Pit. He’s part gypsy. Can you be part gypsy? If you’re not gypsy now, you never were. He only has one relative, his niece Jenny. She’s super wholesome and comes out regularly to check on her eccentric Uncle, much to her boyfriends dismay. On her recent visit she comes upon the open cabin with Uncle Salty lying on the floor dying of a heart attack. With his last dying breath he tells her to get his secret black book. He dies. She reads book and happens upon a spell for power wherein she has to drink a concoction of Hedgehog and Shrew blood. She thinks this is a great idea and does it. Some unfortunate animal slaughter here. She gets powerful and horny. Drives to town. Impersonates hooker. Gets ten bucks to fuck some guy. Cuts his dick off. He dies from his dick being cut off which I don’t think would happen. At least not right away. She then breaks up with boyfriend. Entraps cabin landlord with sexual favors for free rent and money. Meets the local Gypsy King. Gypsy King hears about her drinking the blood potion and decides, hey, this is my new wife. She’s all in. They dig up her uncle’s grave so he can be buried in the Sucking Pit like all gypsies should be. Some supernatural stuff.
Jenny’s ex shows up. Says she’s possessed. Hooks up with landlord’s wife. More people murdered and thrown into the Sucking Pit. Yeah. This was pretty silly. Fun silly. It goes real fast. Jenny went from scared of the dark to drinking animal blood in three paragraphs. There were some hilariously bad monologues, by Ex-boyfriend and Landlord, about how both ladies had similar bodies and were therefore interchangeable. We’re not talking deep stuff here people! The Gypsy’s look bad at the beginning but the author goes above and beyond to show that it was just one bad Gypsy. So, that was nice of him. Basically, it’s a story about some shitty folks killing people and throwing them in a swamp with a pinch of (I’m assuming made up) Gypsy folklore. Great shit!
This is the Grafton Books edition from 1989.
\\\\ Review by Nick Anderson Instagram:@next_stop_willoughy
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