Dress Up by E.M. Love

Oh man! That tagline on the cover, “Once the drawer was open, evil clothed her body with naked horror.” I busted out laughing at the bookstore. I had to read this thing. It was a tough one though.

A couple and their kids move to the country to live in the wife’s old family farm. The husband is a college professor who works far away and is only home on the weekends. The wife starts having vivid nightmares every night. That almost made me quit right there. I can’t stand dreams in stories. But I kept going.

It turns out the nightmares are about an incestuous brother and sister relationship and the father shooting the son mid-coitus. It was really fucking gross, but I was like, well I made it through that chapter, so the worst is behind us. Wrong! The next nightmare chapter was a very graphic sex scene with brother and sister. Once I saw where it was going, I skipped ahead.

At this point I should have just quit but I’m a glutton for punishment. Plus, I figured there has to be a part towards the end where we learn they weren’t REALLY brother and sister. There just has to be. Spoiler alert.

Nope. Not only are they blood siblings but now in nightmareland the dad has started in on the daughter. My brain is like, why?! WHY are we reading this?! But it’s so hard not to finish a book. I was trapped! The book had clothed my body in naked horror!

So yeah, the wife finds an old dresser with a bunch of stuff in it, puts it on and gets mildly possessed. We get some spooky phone calls from her deceased mom. The creepy parts were actually creepy but there wasn’t nearly enough of them. Most of the book is her dickhead husband being a complete fucking asshole. Lots of yelling and arguing while going through a divorce. Fun!

Writers’ friend: “Hey, E.M. I heard you’re writing a book. What’s it about?”

Writer: “It’s about a lady going through a horrible divorce while having incest dreams. Oh, and some ghost shit.”

Most of this book is boring. Obviously. I was very curious if E.M. Love was a man or a woman. Like, who would write this incest love story?? I couldn’t find any answers. This was the only book they wrote. What a shame. But I finished it. I have to go take a shower now.

Liesure Books- 1992

\\\\\Review by: Nick Anderson Instagram- @next_stop_willoughby